Christians have begun to incorrectly believe that the treatment of others is a straightforward and simple part of the faith. Truly, every aspect of Christ is nuanced and deep, and one must actively pursue understanding in every area of God. Generally, people conclude that God wants us to do everything we can to make the days of other people easier and more delightful. This idea lacks the big-picture understanding of God and His plans for our hearts.
The way Christians treat others is a powerful aspect of the faith, and it needs to be understood if we want to maximize our relationship with God. The most important thing to understand to love others in a Christian way is that it’s not straightforward.
Jesus challenges every understanding of God that we have when He says, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” (Christ, NIV). Jesus seems to contradict everything we understand about Him in that sentence. He presents the idea that He wants us to hate others, which would make someone question, isn’t this the same guy who said “As I have loved you, so must you love one another”? (Christ, NIV). Jesus presents us with a profound puzzle that, at first glance, seems impossible. It’s almost as though He contradicts Himself with his complexity.
However, Jesus answers this question with the same sentence that confused us. If we ae going to love one another as Jesus loved us, then we first have to establish how Jesus loved us.
First Step
Understanding the love of Christ is the first step to practicing love ourselves. An unresearched Christian would tell you that Jesus loved us by doing what He could to make our lives easier. This falls apart the moment it is presented. If Jesus does all He can to make lives easier then why are there Churchgoers with unhealed legs? Why are there broken-hearted Christians kneeling before God who haven’t gotten the easy solution that this basic theology promises?
To love one another as Jesus loved us, we must examine how Jesus loved us.
This question is answered in Mark 9:14-29. A demon-possessed boy is presented before the disciples. The boy's father asks them to cast the demon out, but as they try, they fail. They cannot remove the demon, and they begin to lose hope. The man then asks Jesus to remove the demon from his son with an unintentional insult, “But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.” (Mark, NIV). Jesus responded, “You unbelieving and perverse generation, how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me.” (Christ, NIV).
Jesus doesn’t respond with a gentle touch to soothe a man with a sick son.
Instead, He responds with a plea to shorten the time He suffers in our wicked presence. He makes it clear that His goal is beyond making this boy's life easier. Jesus is looking deeper than our convenience, and He wants something more than our ease.
First and foremost, Jesus loved others by wanting them to love God.
The boy's father responds, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark, NIV). Now, the plea presented to Jesus is no longer about making our lives easier or providing us with an easier time, but it’s a plea for faith.
Instead of asking for our outward circumstances to be changed, Jesus answers the call when we ask for our inward hearts to be changed.
After the man pleaded for faith, Jesus commanded the demon, “You deaf and mute spirit, “I command you, come out of him and never enter him again.” (Christ, NIV). Jesus goes beyond commanding the spirit out, even though that’s all it would take to incite faith. Instead, He commands it to never return.
In His love, He goes the extra mile, and because it’s about our hearts, he answers immediately.
One may question why they don’t see their own miracles when they plead to Christ for greater faith as He did for the boy's father. Simply put, we are asking for God to change our hearts by changing our outward circumstances. The boy's father already believed when he begged Jesus; he merely wanted to remove all unbelief. God was at the forefront of His request. It wasn’t about his son being well; it became about believing in the one true God. God has the power to change your heart even if your circumstances remain. In this concept, we find the answer to how Jesus loved us.
Jesus loved mankind by loving God.
When the man came to Jesus with vanity, seeking worldly healing, the demon remained. If Jesus were to remove the demon at that point, God would never have gained the heart of the boy’s father. Instead, the plea was answered when He asked for faith.
After God's wants and the man’s wants aligned, Jesus rebuked the spirit.
If we want to love others as Jesus loved us, it’s done by loving others through loving God first.
Daily Application
This raises the next question: how do we love others by loving God first in our daily lives?
The most important part of it is having a heart that only considers God’s wants.
If the forefront reaction is going to be love, then that has to be the place your heart is always at. This concept is effectively demonstrated by King David in 1 Samuel Chapter 24. King Saul was actively looking for David in an attempt to murder him. Before this, God anointed Saul as the king of Israel, but then Saul turned from God, and now David was on track to be the next king. On his hunt, he and David were close by without Saul knowing. Saul entered a cave, to use the bathroom, and unbeknownst to Saul, David was in the cave armed.
David crept up behind Saul with a knife and didn’t kill him.
At first glance, this was nothing beyond a dumb choice. One would conclude that there is no reason God would want this man, who has killed before and will kill again, to survive. David seems to have made the wrong choice until you understand why he spared Saul.
The first thing to understand in dissecting this story is that David took love to the extreme.
Before he explained himself, David greeted Saul in a dumbfounding manner. 1 Samuel reads, “Then David went out of the cave and called out to Saul, “My lord the king!” When Saul looked behind him, David bowed down and prostrated himself with his face to the ground.” (1 Samuel, NIV). David actively bows his face before a man who is doing everything he can to kill him. God is challenging something here.
God wants us to make this point of loving others by loving God an extreme in our hearts.
He wants us to see literally nothing except for the will of God. David told Saul, “This day you have seen with your own eyes how the Lord delivered you into my hands in the cave. Some urged me to kill you, but I spared you; I said, I will not lay my hand on my lord, because he is the Lord’s anointed.” (David, NIV). It’s an easily misunderstood detail, but David refused to harm Saul because Saul is the Lord's anointed.
It isn’t about sparing Saul or loving his enemy; David doesn’t see beyond loving God.
The most vital aspect of this story to understand is that David doesn’t do this for Saul’s sake. David declares, “May the Lord judge between you and me. And may the Lord avenge the wrongs you have done to me, but my hand will not touch you.” (David, NIV). David is completely content with Saul suffering at the hand of God as he asks that the Lord would judge him. This isn’t about loving his enemy; this is about loving God.
If we want to love the way Jesus loved, then we need a heart that only sees God and nothing more.
Every action we make toward someone must be, in every aspect, about God.
Loving each other the way Jesus loved us is a complex and profound idea that goes far deeper than brightening someone's day. Jesus commands us to love each other how he loved us. This can only be done by loving each other by first loving God. If we want to love each other as Jesus loved, then we can’t let our eyes see beyond God.